Category: horseless carriages.

horseless carriages.

One year with the Tactical Off-Road Banana

One year ago, the minivan went to the Great Junkyard in the Sky with less than 40k on the odometer due to circumstances that shall remain vague. I had to source a replacement very quickly because we are most definitely a two-car household by necessity. We had a good experience with the wife’s Jeep Cherokee, so I opted for another Jeep and picked up a 2015 Jeep Renegade Trailhawk with only 8k miles on it.

Fast forward to January 2019, and the Renegade now has a little under 20k miles on it. It has been a trouble-free car so far. The only things that needed fixing were the front sway bar links, which had started to make popping sounds about six months in, and they replaced those under warranty. Other than that, no problems or annoyances to report.

It’s a surprisingly roomy car on the inside thanks to the box shape of the cabin. There’s almost no front or rear overhang, and the car is very nimble, which means that I can squeeze into parking spots few other cars can claim, like the ones where the spots on either side are taken up by giant tugboat SUVs parked right on the line or slightly beyond. The turning radius is ludicrously small. The seating position is high, and the windows are large, so visibility is great. And the Jeep 4WD system works as well or better in the snow than my old Subaru’s AWD.

I like this little car. It’s agile, fun to drive, and easy in bad weather. Sometimes I miss the space of the minivan (usually when trying to transport something bulky), but most of the time I drive around in the Jeep by myself or with just the kids, and the Renegade is plenty big enough for that. It’s a small car that feels bigger than it is. I wouldn’t want to do a multi-day trip with the whole family in it, but it’s pretty much ideal as a daily runabout in a rural setting in the snow belt. And it has some credible off-road chops as well–the Trailhawk trim means it has a slight lift for higher ground clearance, a rock-crawling 4WD mode, skid plates to shield the oil pan and undercarriage, and external tow hooks front and back.

Oh, and the color has really grown on me. It’s super visible in bad weather, and it’s very easy to spot in a parking lot. Turns out that yellow is the least common color for vehicles. (I wanted to get a vanity plate that said WASP-A, but the wife said people would think it stands for White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, so I ended up getting a regular plate instead of a vanity one.)

 

 

castle frostbite. horseless carriages. new hampshah. weather.

Life in Upper Cryogenica, winter storm edition

We just had another nor’easter up here in Cryogenica, and this one dumped the most snow we’ve gotten so far in a single storm this winter. Here’s a picture of the total snowfall level–the ground was bare before the start of the storm. For reference, the Renegade has 18-inch wheel rims :

(A month into owning it, I am still impressed with that little Jeep, by the way. It does even better in the snow than the Subarus, which is no small feat. Just after I took that picture, I climbed in and drove the Renegade out of that spot and down to the bottom of the driveway so the plow guys could clean up. No shoveling required.)

I’m hoping that was the last snow storm of the season, but up here you never know. We’ve had nor’easters as late as April and as early as November. And now you know why every other car in New England has AWD or 4WD drive.

I do enjoy the four very distinct season, however, even the snow. It does have its beauty. (Which is easier to appreciate when you have a plow guy on call and an automatic propane backup generator that powers the whole house for a week in a pinch.)

 

castle frostbite. horseless carriages.

The night the minivan died

So I accidentally killed a perfectly good Dodge Grand Caravan that was only three and a half years old and had 44,000 miles on the odometer. The details shall remain undisclosed, but there was no injury or body damage involved.

Luckily, the insurance covered the total loss, so I was able to go out and source a new ride. After having owned two minivans in a row, I had come to the conclusion that while the extra space was nice to have, we didn’t really need the hauling capacity because 99% of the time, I drove around by myself in that big, empty 4,500-pound box. So I downsized considerably:

It’s a Jeep Renegade Trailhawk, the off-road trim of the smallest crossover Jeep currently makes. Robin drives one of the new Jeep Cherokees, and we’ve both been very impressed with that car over the last two years, so I figured I’d get myself a Jeep too. This is their subcompact model, which shares a platform with the Fiat 500X (and like the Fiat, it’s made in Italy.) But unlike the 500X, the little Renegade has some serious off-road chops, especially in the Trailhawk trim. Their 4WD system is excellent, and this little thing is better in the snow than any car I’ve owned before, including the Subaru. And it’s an absolute hoot to bomb around town with this. The short wheelbase and high seating position makes it feel like driving a zippy little buggy.

Now to apply for the right vanity plate for this car. TONKA is already taken, alas. Maybe RUBRDUKY?

capitalism. horseless carriages. technology.

happy fun car.

I used to ride motorcycles. When I met Robin back in Tennessee, I owned a Kawasaki Ninja 250, dubbed “Happy Fun Bike” because it was, well, happy and fun. Alas, when we started having kids (and I almost got cleaned off the bike twice in the span of a week by inattentive drivers), I decided to hang up the helmet and sell the bike. Kids are better off with a live daddy than one turned into road pizza by some derpy grand-aunt in a Mercury Medicare. I did keep my motorcycle license current, and in fact paid extra to transfer the endorsement to my NH license when we moved, thinking that I may want to start riding again some day.

Fast forward to the present. Lucky circumstances and some good wind in my writing sails finally put me in a position where I could think about acquiring another Happy Fun Mobile. I’ve been driving minivans for the last decade, which are eminently comfortable and practical vehicles, but while they are many things, “fun” is not really a word you use when talking about driving a two-ton box on wheels. So I voiced the idea of maybe, possibly getting another motorcycle for the sole purpose of fun transportation.

Robin wasn’t too enamored with the idea on account of preferring her husband alive and undamaged (see: road pizza; derpy grand-aunt in mercury Medicare &etc.), and cautioned against this course of action. I sympathized with her concern, but proposed a compromise solution: I would look for a four-wheeled conveyance that’s fast, fun, and equipped with a manual gearbox, and spend about as much on it as I would for a nice new motorcycle. This was an acceptable compromise solution for both of us.

Long story short, this is the new Happy Fun Mobile:

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It’s a 2009 Subaru Impreza WRX. It has a 265HP turbocharged boxer engine bolted to a permanent symmetrical AWD drivetrain and a 5-speed manual transmission. Goes fast in the summer, isn’t scared of snow in the winter, and won’t be hauling anything but ass. It’s not quite a new Corvette or Porsche, but it was within my budget and at just the price/mileage/performance intersection I wanted. Considering it’s purely a plaything for one person, it’s probably a tad excessive as a third car, but the ability to actually get up my fucking driveway in the winter was a huge selling point for the WRX over other options.

Oh, and it does 0-60 in under five seconds. OR SO I’VE HEARD.

 

castle frostbite. horseless carriages.

the hazards of winter.

A few days ago, I took the corner at the bottom of our driveway in a slightly-too-spirited fashion, and side-scraped a frozen snowbank. This is what I managed to do to the passenger side sliding door of the new Frostbite One:

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The frame took the hit without damage, but the thinner sheet steel of the door bent inward at the bottom where it scraped against the icy snowbank. The paint is chipped off, naturally.

I’m guessing that’s a $1,000 oopsie when all is said and done, and a good lesson in watching the damn corners even when you’re trying to keep momentum to make it up your icy driveway. Man, I can’t wait to build a house on a flat piece of land somewhere. With a paved, heated driveway. 

horseless carriages.

autos in the wild.

Because all the cool kids are doing it, here’s today’s wild vintage car spotting:

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It was driven by a middle-aged guy (OF COURSE IT WAS), with a preteen girl in the passenger seat, presumably his offspring.  With a car like that to ride around in, he’s going to spoil that kid for her future first car, because who could be impressed with something like a Honda Fit or a VW Golf after riding around in a bona fide classic like that Stingray?

capitalism. gadgetry. horseless carriages.

meet the new frostbite one.

So I got to upgrade the long-in-the-tooth Dogevan last week. I was briefly flirting with the idea of downsizing and going with a Mazda5 or a Mistubishi Outlander, based on their ability to serve as a six- and seven-seater respectively in a pinch.

In the end, however, I decided on getting…another Grand Caravan.

Here’s the new Frostbite One, a Dodge Grand Caravan R/T:

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(Chicken sold separately.)

It’s pretty tricked-out, being the top trim of the Grand Caravan line. It still seems silly for Dodge to use the hallowed R/T (Road/Track) label for a seven-seat box on wheels, but it does make some concessions to sportiness, as far as that’s possible for a minivan. The suspension is a little more firm (the R/T has a dual-shock setup), and the color scheme is decidedly monochrome with the smoke-colored headlights and fascia. 

It’s not a Challenger R/T, but compared to the old Dogevan, this thing flies. The old one had a 170HP V6 bolted to a four-speed automatic transmission. This one has a 283HP V6 bolted to a six-speed. You won’t be taking on any Porsches with it, but for a vehicle of its size, it can haul a respectable amount of ass. You put your foot down hard on the accelerator on an on-ramp, and things will happen. And it gets roughly the same gas mileage as the old engine thanks to the more efficient transmission and newer engine tech.

This is the new workplace:

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All leather, with more hidden storage compartments than a Corellian freighter, and with the navigation package that was at the top of my wish list. Not sexy, but comfy and convenient. It makes the old van look very frumpy in comparison.

The kids have a DVD screen in the back that pops out of the ceiling, and wireless infrared headphones so the adults in the front seats don’t have to listen to the fourth straight on-the-road showing of Frozen. And there’s an I/O panel in the bottom of the B-pillar that lets you feed the onboard entertainment display via HDMI or composite cables:

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It even has a 110V outlet right underneath, so you can plug in a gaming console to keep the kids busy when you run out of movies. We didn’t have that kind of luxury when I was a kid, no sirree. We had rocks! And we was thankful!

The old Dogevan served us without any trouble for almost eight years, which is why I leaned toward another. Also, I have gotten spoiled by the utility of the full-sized van. Haul seven people or 150 cubic feet of cargo, or any combination thereof, with seats that disappear in the floor at the flick of a lever, and a cargo bay that lets you transport a tall stack of standard 4×8 drywall or plywood sheets if you have to.

If this new Dogevan serves us half as well as the last one did, it was worth the purchase. And just to make sure I don’t get stuck with any random gremlins, I also got the lifetime Mopar bumper-to-bumper warranty with it. 

Now to roll my pennies for that supplemental fun vehicle to put into the garage next to this thing. They do have a lovely flame-orange Challenger R/T sitting on the lot…

capitalism. horseless carriages.

so….you’re saying this car isn’t very good?

This review of the new 2014 Mitsubishi Mirage is the best car review I’ve read in a month of Sundays. I had to check to make sure it wasn’t out of Car & Driver, because it reads just like their reviews during their snarky peak. Example quote:

The reborn Mitsubishi Mirage lowers expectations, strangles them and buries their remains in a deep unmarked grave. If this car wasn’t disappointing, it wouldn’t be anything at all.

 

I know it’s probably not a fair opinion on my part because the Mirage is for developing markets and cuts corners by necessity to keep the price tag low, but I am pretty glad now that I didn’t buy that Mitsubishi Outlander I had my eyes on.

 

bullets & links. horseless carriages.

that poor automobile.

This one will make the automotive nerds flinch:

1956 Mercedes-Benz 300SL “Gullwing” totaled at Mille Miglia.

That’s a million dollars’ worth of Teutonic sheet steel turned into scrap metal, and they’re not making any more of those. The Gullwing is an automotive classic, one of the most desirable cars in the world, and it got turned into $500 worth of scrap by a speeding 1-series BMW. Some insurance appraiser probably had a borderline cardiac event over that one, because you can be sure that anyone who owns and drives an automobile worth as much as a luxury mansion is going to have that sucker well-insured.

 

horseless carriages.

automotive recommendationings requested.

One of the drawbacks of living in Upper Cryogenica is the harshness of the winter environment, especially on vehicles that never see the inside of a garage. I just had to turn the Grand Marnier over to the local car vet for an extended stay. The road salt rusted out the emergency brake system, the spare wheel release mechanism under the floor was rusted shut, and the oil pan was leaking. It wouldn’t pass the NH state inspection with a faulty emergency brake, so it had to get fixed, and I had all the rest done as well while they had the thing up on the lift. $1,000 later, I have my sticker and state permission to drive the Grand Marnier on public roads for another year.

The Dodge is a 2005 model, with pretty low mileage for an 8-year-old car (about 110,000.) It is, however, sliding off into that territory where fixing the age-related boo-boos is getting pretty spendy. In addition, the side panels are starting to show corrosion (again, liberal use of salt up here), and I am starting to wonder about a suitable replacement.

Every time I do think about a new car, I am torn between just getting another minivan because ours is just so freaking versatile, not to mention the most comfortable vehicle for those once-a-year road trips to the family down South. But I also like the idea of a smallish, fuel-efficient car for puttering around town, since I don’t use the full cargo or passenger capacity of the Dodge 95% of the time. So right now I’m waffling between a new Grand Caravan, something from the Subaru line (an Impreza or Crosstrek), a VW with TDI engine, or maybe one of those Mazda 5 microvans. The kids are getting older and no longer require a huge supply train for trips, so I don’t need the space for strollers and high chairs anymore, but it sure is handy to be able to haul furniture or plywood sheets or six friends in a pinch.

What would be a good option for a dude like myself who drives about 1,000 miles a month, has to deal with snow and shifty roads in the winter, and occasionally takes the family on 2,000-mile round trip family visits to NC and TN? Bonus points for fuel efficiency and decent interior space. Sporty pep would be nice, but it’s a secondary concern, because let’s face it, I’m middle-aged and boring now, and getting the kids to various destinations cheaply and safely has to take precedence over being able to outrace teenagers in souped-up Civics at the stop light.

Throw your recommendations at me, Internets!