book b-day: “untalented”.

My friend Katrina Archer has a novel out today. It’s a fantasy novel called “Untalented”, and the cover is simply gorgeous.

Kat is a fellow Viable Paradise XII alum, and boy howdy, has VPXII produced some excellent writers. And not only are my VP friends great wordsmiths and -plumbers, but they’re also genuinely fine and fun people. 

(And did I mention how flipping gorgeous the cover for Kat’s novel is?)

Anyway, it’s out today, and you should check it out if fantasy novels float your boat. I know Kat’s writing, and I know you’ll find she’s a new and rising talent worth supporting. Even if she does keep trying to convince me that she lives in this mythical land to the north of us called Canadia. Everyone knows there’s nothing but ice dragons and snow ferrets north of the Wall.

the lucky giveaway winners who are winners of the giveaway.

There were 204 response comments to the Frontlines giveaway. This morning, I employed a random number picker to spit out two very random numbers:

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According to my scientific calculations (and starting the count from the oldest comment), the winners are:

Ken Malphurs and Marlo Brown.

Congratulations, you two. Please contact me at marko.kloos@gmail.com and let me know your shipping addresses and how/if you want me to sign/personalize the books. They’ll be winging their way to you this week.

Thanks for playing, everyone! I may do more of these in the future.

frontlines series giveaway.

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I’m in the mood to give something away, so I’m going to do a thing. Let’s call it a….”giveaway”. Yeah, that’s a good name for it.

If you would like to receive signed and personalized print copies of TERMS OF ENLISTMENT and LINES OF DEPARTURE, leave an affirmative comment on this post. One comment per person, please—no multiple entries.

At the end of the coming weekend (that’s Sunday, July 20th, around 6pm), I shall pick two winners via random number generator and close the comments. I will announce the winning entries on Monday morning, at which point the winners can contact me via email for a mailing address and personalization details. (If you’d rather just get the books without me defiling them with my signature, that’s OK too.)

This giveaway is open to readers all over the world. If you win, I will ship the books to you whether you live right here in Upper Cryogenica, at the northern tip of Norway, the southern tip of Australia, or anywhere in between, even if you are currently pulling duty at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, absolutely FREE OF CHARGE.

One entry each. Open to anyone in the world. You know how to proceed. EXECUTE.

clickity-clack.

The Apple Bluetooth wireless keyboard that ships with new Macs is very sleek and stylish, but it doesn’t stand up to hard typing. It has minimal key travel, lacks a Delete key, and the tactile feedback is so-so at best. For checking Facebook and writing emails, it’s OK, but folks who have to drum out thousands of words a day need something a little more industrial.

I’ve been a long-time fan of the old IBM Model M, the clicky battleship-grade keyboards from the 1990s. I still have three or four of the old things, and all of them are working. With every passing year, however, it gets more difficult to make them work with modern PCs. Not only do they require PS/2 adapters, but they also draw a lot of power through the USB port, and most PS/2-to-USB adapters will not work with a Model M correctly. Also, using them with a Mac requires remapping of the Control, Alt, and Option keys, which are backwards on a Mac, so that’s a bit of a hassle. {Also, the Model M has the old PC standard Ctrl and Alt keys, whereas the Mac has Control, Option, and Command keys, which means you’re always one modifier key short when you use a Model M with a Mac.)

Until now, I haven’t really come across a good up-to-date replacement for the Model M. I’ve tried a bunch of mechanical keyboards made for gaming, but they’re a bit too bulky and specialized, and not really made with lots of heavy typing in mind. They have lots of superfluous features and usually take up about as much desk space as a family-sized pizza. The ones I found that were less frilly didn’t quite have the right feel to the keys. None of them had a clean design and the satisfying clicky action of the old Model M.

And then I found this one:

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Typist Nirvana, now in glossy piano black.

That’s the Das Keyboard, specifically the Professional Model S for the Mac. They also make a PC version, and a stealth model with no lettering on the keycaps for you touch-typist show-offs.

Yeah, it’s pretty pricy, but for a writer, it’s the main interface with the PC and by far the hardest-used part of the whole system. It makes no sense to save on this particular part of the machine.

The Das Keyboard has Cherry MX Blue key switches, not the expensive-to-make buckling springs of the original model M, but they have the same sort of satisfying clicky sound and tactile feedback. 

Typing on this thing is an absolute pleasure, it looks good, and it works with any system that has USB ports. There are two USB ports on the side for thumb drives and mouse dongles and such, and it’s refreshingly Spartan in design—no neon lights, rows of Macro keys, volume wheels, or built-in laser projector and weather station. Just a glossy black chassis with the standard key layout, and that’s it. 

It’s not a gaming keyboard, and it has no other frills. (The key caps aren’t even illuminated, which seems to be a standard feature on high-end keyboards these days.) The Cherry MX Blue switches are not quite as noisy as the buckling springs on the Model M, but they still make enough of a racket that you’ll keep your spouse or roommate up if you use the keyboard anywhere near the bedroom. But for hard typing, there’s nothing better on the market right now. Plus, you know, it has a German article in front of “keyboard” which automatically imbues it with Teutonic engineering mojo.

If you type a lot, and you can’t stand the shitty $10 that came with your computer (or the $50 picture-of-a-keyboard they ship with macs these days), do your hands a favor and look into one of these. They’re the closest you’ll get to the old Model M clicky monsters without requiring any adapter voodoo or eBay adventures. The Das Keyboard Professional Model S gets two enthusiastic thumbs up from the Munchkin Wrangler Gear Whore Labs.

hey, look. it’s july already.

Wow, will you look at that calendar? Seems like we’re a week into July already. 

I’m still writing on the third Frontlines novel, which was TECHNICALLY DUE LAST MONTH. Erm. Let us not speak of this right now and continue on to other subjects. (I’ll be done soon, I promise.)

Team Munchkin Wrangler just got back from a  two-week trip to see the in-laws in North Carolina. The new Dogevan performed splendidly. Lots of storage and cargo space for all the clothes and gifts we ferried south, a built-in entertainment system to keep the kids happy on the 16-hour drive south, a built-in GPS system to keep me from having to rig my iPad up on the dash, and 280 ponies under the hood to gallop up a highway on-ramp and merge into fast-moving traffic without breaking a sweat. And the driver’s seat in the new van has electrically adjustable lumbar support, which is the berries for comfort.

The trip went well, but the environment at my in-laws wasn’t exactly conducive to productivity, to put it mildly. I got a fair bit written, but not nearly as much as I had hoped, so now I’m back on crunch time schedule at home so I can get this thing finished ASAP. 

Readercon is coming up next weekend, which is my main Nerd Social of the year. I get to see my friends and hang out with fellow SF/F folks. There is drinking and hanging out, attending readings and panels, and going out to the now-traditional greasy spoon breakfasts and barbecue dinners together. If you’re going to be at Readercon and you see me around, feel free to walk up and say hello. I promise I won’t try to hand-sell you any books or anything.

books-a-million, i am terribly vexed.

Books-A-Million,

we need to have a little talk. 

You see, I used to go to Borders a lot. You remember Borders, don’t you? Yeah, it’s that book store chain whose store location you took over in West Lebanon a few years back when they went the way of the apatosaur. You kept most everything in the same place (to the point where I get this distinct “Zombie Borders” feel when I walk into your store), so it’s all familiar, and your prices are certainly not out of line. But I don’t shop there very often. 

You want to know why that is?

Because your sales goobers (under orders from above, no doubt) push that GODDAMN REWARDS PROGRAM four or five times, without fail, every time I check out at your registers.

Just on Saturday, I went to pick up a little trinket for the kids (and I do have to give you props for your well-stocked Nerd Toys section). Not only did I get pestered again at the register (I counted—the dude pushed your loyalty card four times), but while I was waiting in line before I finally got to pay, the same guy—working the one open register—went through the same ritual with every single customer before me, extending the duration of the checkout procedure by at least triple the necessary amount, despite the fact that the line was half a dozen people long. Factoring in my time, I’m paying double for my trinkets because I am forced to wait for Captain I’m-Here-All-Day-Anyway to do his little Marketing Kabuki ritual.

Nobody—and I mean nobody—likes waiting in line ten minutes to pay for $15 worth of trinkets just because your cashiers are drilled to push that GODDAMN REWARDS PROGRAM on EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER, MULTIPLE TIMES, as if to try and get them to pony up the goddamn $25 a year just to STOP THE GODDAMN ANNOYANCE and GET THE HELL ON WITH THEIR DAY.

You want to know why I mostly buy my stuff from Amazon or the indie store down the road these days? Because it doesn’t waste my time nearly as much. I can assure you that the lack of speed and convenience has lost your store way more than just $25 a year in lost profits from sales to me alone.

Seriously—get with the program, Books-A-Million. Or, you know, apatosaur.

meet the new frostbite one.

So I got to upgrade the long-in-the-tooth Dogevan last week. I was briefly flirting with the idea of downsizing and going with a Mazda5 or a Mistubishi Outlander, based on their ability to serve as a six- and seven-seater respectively in a pinch.

In the end, however, I decided on getting…another Grand Caravan.

Here’s the new Frostbite One, a Dodge Grand Caravan R/T:

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(Chicken sold separately.)

It’s pretty tricked-out, being the top trim of the Grand Caravan line. It still seems silly for Dodge to use the hallowed R/T (Road/Track) label for a seven-seat box on wheels, but it does make some concessions to sportiness, as far as that’s possible for a minivan. The suspension is a little more firm (the R/T has a dual-shock setup), and the color scheme is decidedly monochrome with the smoke-colored headlights and fascia. 

It’s not a Challenger R/T, but compared to the old Dogevan, this thing flies. The old one had a 170HP V6 bolted to a four-speed automatic transmission. This one has a 283HP V6 bolted to a six-speed. You won’t be taking on any Porsches with it, but for a vehicle of its size, it can haul a respectable amount of ass. You put your foot down hard on the accelerator on an on-ramp, and things will happen. And it gets roughly the same gas mileage as the old engine thanks to the more efficient transmission and newer engine tech.

This is the new workplace:

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All leather, with more hidden storage compartments than a Corellian freighter, and with the navigation package that was at the top of my wish list. Not sexy, but comfy and convenient. It makes the old van look very frumpy in comparison.

The kids have a DVD screen in the back that pops out of the ceiling, and wireless infrared headphones so the adults in the front seats don’t have to listen to the fourth straight on-the-road showing of Frozen. And there’s an I/O panel in the bottom of the B-pillar that lets you feed the onboard entertainment display via HDMI or composite cables:

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It even has a 110V outlet right underneath, so you can plug in a gaming console to keep the kids busy when you run out of movies. We didn’t have that kind of luxury when I was a kid, no sirree. We had rocks! And we was thankful!

The old Dogevan served us without any trouble for almost eight years, which is why I leaned toward another. Also, I have gotten spoiled by the utility of the full-sized van. Haul seven people or 150 cubic feet of cargo, or any combination thereof, with seats that disappear in the floor at the flick of a lever, and a cargo bay that lets you transport a tall stack of standard 4×8 drywall or plywood sheets if you have to.

If this new Dogevan serves us half as well as the last one did, it was worth the purchase. And just to make sure I don’t get stuck with any random gremlins, I also got the lifetime Mopar bumper-to-bumper warranty with it. 

Now to roll my pennies for that supplemental fun vehicle to put into the garage next to this thing. They do have a lovely flame-orange Challenger R/T sitting on the lot…

writer blog hop.

My friend Claire tagged me in a blog hop. The idea is to have a bunch of  writers answer questions about their work and then tag other writers to participate. I don’t have anyone to tag, but if any of you shifty writer folk reading this want to take up the baton and run with it, HAVE AT IT.

1) What am I working on/writing? 

I’m currently working on the third novel in the Frontlines series, called ANGLES OF ATTACK. After that one is turned in and edited (and edited again, and then edited some more), I have several half-finished projects I’d like to finish and send to my agent, to see what’s marketable in that project pile. 

Later this year, I have a novella in the Frontlines universe planned (hopefully for a release in the summer), and then I’ll be looking hard at the story arc of the Frontlines books and see what other stories the people in that universe have to tell.

With all this novel-cranking-out, my short fiction output has come to a stop this year, but if I have some breathing room later this year, I want play with some short story ideas that have been rolling around in my noggin.

Oh, almost forgot: I’ll also get going in earnest on the full alternate history/fantasy novel set in what I now called the Ink & Blood universe. It will expand on the short story I had in Beneath Ceaseless Skies a few years back. (The short story was in fact supposed to be backstory for the novel, but the military SF stuff took precedence on the schedule.)

2) How does my work/writing differ from others of its genre? 

I don’t do space opera like (for example) David Weber, and I don’t deal with politics except for the stuff that directly means something to the grunts on the ground. The main thrust of the Frontlines books is a combat narrative from a soldier’s-eye view. I wanted to keep the narrative limited and intimate—that’s why I picked first-person, present-tense narration. If Andrew doesn’t see or experience it, we readers don’t get to, either. That’s why I don’t explain tech in great detail either—the grunts aren’t too interested how the engines on a drop ship work, they just know that the spinny and thrusty bits move the Wasp and keep it from falling out of the sky, and that’s good enough for them.

There are other military SF writers who try for the same approach (almost invariably military vets—you can always tell by the little details when the author has worn a uniform and stood in a chow or weapons issue line themselves), so I am by no means a special and unique snowflake, but I hope that my approach does something a little interesting and exciting with what is essentially a genre staple.

Side note: my favorite quasi-negative review of TERMS OF ENLISTMENT on Amazon is now the logline of this blog: “Enjoyable but utterly derivative”. So maybe I am not the ideal writer to answer the originality question convincingly…

3) Why do I write what I do? 

I started writing TERMS because I like reading military SF, and because I wanted to have a fictional vehicle for working in my own military/boot camp experience. I keep writing military SF because it’s fun and exciting, and it lets me have fun with future combat grunts and spaceships, which is a pretty awesome way to make a living.

In the end, though, I write military SF for the same reason I write everything else. I have settings, story lines, and interesting characters pop into my head, and I want to find out what kind of story they have to tell.

4) How does my writing process work?

Mentally: I have an idea—a character sketch, a scene, a strong and unusual visual cue, an emotion—and I file it away in my head for later use. Sometimes it never goes anywhere, and sometimes I turn it into a scene or a short story or maybe a novel. Sometimes the idea by itself goes nowhere, but then I have another idea months or years later, and find that it combines well with that earlier idea to make something really interesting. Sometimes I start writing and surprise myself with what comes out. 

(I wrote a humorous SF short story called CAKE WHORES FROM MARS on a dare by Chuck Wendig, and I literally sat down at the typewriter with nothing but that title in my head. I wrote the first line, then the second one, and the whole story just unfolded in my head as I was writing. It was one of those magic writing moments that make you believe in the untapped potential of whatever gland or brain region or alien brain slug we have residing upstairs that makes us want to make up stuff and write it down.)

Physically: I usually write my first drafts in longhand, with a fountain pen. I enjoy the tactile sensation, the instant personalized hard copy it creates, and the lack of distractions. I do new material in the morning, and edits or transcription in the afternoon. Right now I have to write straight into the computer because DEADLINE, but I am looking forward to filling up the pens again for the next project after I am finished with ANGLES OF ATTACK. When I transcribe or compose directly on the computer, I use a Mac running Scrivener, which is hands-down the best writing software on the market. It’s like Photoshop for novelists.

And that is my exciting description of my exciting process! I swear, a reality show centered on a group of writers would be the most boring thing ever. Clip a GoPro to a writer’s head, and it’ll be twelve hours of snooze-inducing footage of surfing the web, staring at blank screen with a blinking cursor, and taking naps.

 

 

so….you’re saying this car isn’t very good?

This review of the new 2014 Mitsubishi Mirage is the best car review I’ve read in a month of Sundays. I had to check to make sure it wasn’t out of Car & Driver, because it reads just like their reviews during their snarky peak. Example quote:

The reborn Mitsubishi Mirage lowers expectations, strangles them and buries their remains in a deep unmarked grave. If this car wasn’t disappointing, it wouldn’t be anything at all.

 

I know it’s probably not a fair opinion on my part because the Mirage is for developing markets and cuts corners by necessity to keep the price tag low, but I am pretty glad now that I didn’t buy that Mitsubishi Outlander I had my eyes on.