capitalism. castle frostbite.

megafridge.

This is our new fridge:

 

042

I don’t usually go all nuts over new appliances in the house, but I love this fridge. Our old fridge came with the house, and like all the other appliances in the place, it was an early Nineties piece of junk from the “Better Than Nothing” section of the appliance department at Sears. We replaced all the junk piecemeal as money allowed, and the fridge, being the biggest expense, was saved for last.

I will say that I didn’t realize how much our old fridge sucked until we got this one. The old fridge was a classic old layout, freezer box at the top and one door below that. This one has the freezer at the bottom, so you don’t need to bend down or crouch anymore to see what’s in the fridge. The whole freezer section is a drawer, and it has a lot of internal drawers for organizing. The fridge section has French doors, and enough LED lights on the inside that I feel like I’m looking at the bridge of the new J.J.Abrams Enterprise whenever I get out some eggs for breakfast. The right-hand door has an outer panel that opens separately, which means you can get out that gallon of milk or soda bottle without having to open the whole fridge door. It has telescoping shelves for tall containers, lots of various drawers for veggies, fruit, and meat, and more extras than a new Toyota. For all I know, there’s a nuclear fuel cell and a Bluetooth iPod interface in there somewhere.

Best of all: we now have a dispenser for cold water and ice cubes on demand. Yeah, baby—shaved or cubed ice, whenever I want it, at the touch of a button! You have no idea how much easier that makes my cocktail preparations.

I will say that I had to draw the line at the almost identical model that had the additional touchscreen feature on the front door. It had apps for Twitter and Facebook on the screen. Who the hell posts Twitter updates from their fridge, and what kind of wisdom are you going to share? “Just made a sandwich LOL”?

There is, of course, the possibility that fridge design has advanced to the stage where the fridge shares to Twitter whatever you’re taking out.

“@markosfridge: Marko just had a snack of half a tub of cream cheese and eight slices of hard salami.”

Now that would be a highly effective dieting tool. Maybe we should have gone for that model instead…

in the news. new hampshah.

earth….quake?

So we had an earthquake here in New England on Tuesday night. How about that?

I was hooking up the water line to our new fridge when the place started shaking. It felt like a washing machine severely out of balance, and that’s exactly what I thought it was at first…until Robin said that there wasn’t any laundry going. Apparently it was a 4.0 quake centered in Maine somewhere. (I think it’s God’s retribution for all that lobster-killing and Zumba whoring.)

Now, a 4.0 quake won’t even make you folks in California look up from your Cheerios, but to us here in Upper Cryogenica, any earthquake is a big deal, especially one you can actually feel. I’m already seeing t-shirts online saying “I Survived The Great New England Quake of 2012”, and pictures are making the rounds on the Intertubes with the obligatory Very Minor Damage (think “trashcan/lawn chair fallen over”) captioned NEVER FORGET. I love the Internets and the human capacity for humor.

intertubes flotsam.

“jackass” auf deutsch.

This video of a German dude doing a hop into a frozen pool—with fairly predictable results regarding personal injury—kicked over my giggle box this morning. If only there was a German word for glee or joy at the misfortune of others…

At least he’s a good enough sport to laugh at his own idiocy. Rock on, German Speedo Dude.

family. friends. travel.

team munchkin wrangler’s 2013 european tour dates.

My brother’s 40th birthday is in February, and we’ve been waiting for an opportunity to visit the family again, so we decided to roll two birthday parties and a family get-together into one and go over there, kids and all.

I just booked the tickets, and boy howdy, does it cost a chunk of change to fly two adults and two kids to another continent. We’re flying from Boston to Amsterdam (the most convenient large airport from my brother’s place), with a stopover in Iceland because we’re going by Icelandair, and their 757s don’t quite have the legs for a transatlantic hop. I was hoping for a longer layover so we could maybe do some looking around in Reykjavik on the way, but it’s just an hour-long pit stop to refuel that Viking long-plane, and I’m sure we won’t be able to see more than the inside of the terminal at Keflavik International.

This will be interesting. We haven’t been back to Germany since 2005, when Quinn was ten months old and Lyra was still in the planning stages. Now the kids are seven and five, and they’re old enough to a.) not be a nuisance on the plane, and b.) be aware of the trip and able to remember the event. Quinn is actually turning eight on the day of our arrival, so he’ll get a little birthday party in Germany.

We’ll be in Germany for just a little under two weeks, which should be plenty of time for family business and some sightseeing. I’m planning to take the wife and kids on day trips around the area, and there’s a lot to see within just a few hours of my brother’s place. Amsterdam is only two hours away, so I suspect we’ll go there for a day—I haven’t been to A’dam since at least 1995, and I’m really looking forward to going back there.

My brother has three kids in the five-to-ten bracket. We’re bringing our two. That’s five children of kindergarten-to-fifth-grade age under the same roof for almost two weeks, and a birthday bash thrown into the mix. I’m sure we’ll be just fine, and I know it will be a lot of fun, but you can also bet your caboose that I’ll be taking the maximum allowable quantity of New Hampshire-bought hooch I can get into Europe duty-free.

intertubes flotsam.

the little essay that keeps getting borrowed.

I really dislike people who write guest columns that use someone else’s material, especially when that material came out of my head, not theirs.

One Mr. James W. King wrote a guest column for the Albany Herald. I use the loosest possible definition of the word “wrote”, because for his column, Mr. King limited his writing work to copying and pasting my “Why the Gun is Civilization” essay. This is not just unoriginal, it’s dishonest, and thievery to boot.

The Albany Herald didn’t ask for permission to use the essay. Neither did Mr. King. I don’t usually get all hot under the collar when “Major Caudill” gets quoted on some Internet forum, but the most cursory Google search by the editor would have turned up the proper authorship. I am thinking about sending my very first DMCA take-down notice.

(UPDATE: The link is dead now. May have something to do with all those emails the editor has been getting.)

idiots. intertubes flotsam.

careful, your mascara is running.

I avoided looking at the display model iPhones on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses iPhones. I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be…

You know you’re a pampered, entitled little whiner when you go to buy a new iPhone and feel compelled to write a tear-soaked blog post on how the AT&T rep “ruined” your first impressions of the phone by carelessly unwrapping everything prior to setting it up. ZOMG! He didn’t leave the protective film on it so I could peel it off in a quasi-religious trance! He unwrapped my USB cord so I was deprived of the experience! WAAAA! This is followed by a list of “How To” tips that outline how the experience should have gone. (In this kid’s ideal world, the salesguy should practically avoid eye contact and treat you like you’re in a bank opening a precious lockbox.)

The folks at the phone store don’t have the time to let every customer spend fifteen minutes ritually unpacking and getting to know their new iPhone. On iPhone launch day, these places are wall-to-wall with hipster kids looking to pick up their new phones between hitting Starbucks and pretending to go to class. You don’t want to make them late for their Ethnic Basketweaving 101 class so you can smell the packaging on your new iPhone.

capitalism. in the news. masters and servants.

capitalism is bad, except when it’s *my* profit.

There’s a new party in Germany. They call themselves the “Pirate Party”, and they’re a loose conglomerate of people well left of the already pretty left-of-center mainstream Social Democrats: anti-Capitalism, anti-establishment, anti-soap-and-deodorant, the usual coffee house anarchists.

One of the platforms of the Pirate Party is that “information should be free.” They advocate unrestricted Internet sharing of books, music, movies, and whatever else can be uploaded to a file-sharing server, without any regard for copyright or intellectual property. One of the members of the Pirate Party’s executive committee, a 26-year-old named Julia Schramm, even called the idea of intellectual property “disgusting.”

Here’s where it gets really hilarious. Said Julia Schramm just landed a book deal with Albrecht Knaus, a German publisher owned by Random House. She netted a 100,000 euro advance for her anti-capitalist book “Click Me”. Some people uploaded the PDF version of the book to a file-sharing server and spread the link around via Twitter and Facebook, along with info about the Pirate Party’s stance on “free information”.

The author promptly issued a DMCA take-down request, and the file was removed.

There’s a saying in German that goes something like, “Preaching water and drinking wine.” It’s pretty amazing how often a politician’s bedrock philosophies only apply to other people, and are conveniently forgotten when one’s own ox is in line for goring. (And no, it’s not just those on the left of the political spectrum.)

wicked sharp.

it slices! it dices!

Hey, you! Do you like sharp things? Then boy, do I have a recommendation for you!

I found this little number on Amazon a little while back:

006

It’s called a Benchmark “Backpacker”, which is obvious hey-it-kind-of-sounds-and-reads-like-Benchmade Chinese product mimicry. Shameless brand name aside, the little thing is actually really nice. It’s a 2.75” hollow-ground fixed blade made of 1095 steel and fitted with Micarta scales, all for the price of a Kindle book or a brew pub burger meal. (It came out to under $20 with shipping.)

Even the Kydex sheath is serviceable. It has a non-removable belt clip on one side, lots of holes for paracord loops, and a carabiner hook strap on one end for attaching the sheath to a backpack or what-have-you.

012

It’s a small, handy blade that has a satisfying heft and feel to it, and it has proven useful as a utility blade. I sometimes clip it to one of my belt loops upside down when I go to do some work outside. It holds an edge pretty well and is easy to sharpen on the ceramic sticks.

008

It’s right handy for cutting open chicken feed bags or opening packages. Rig the sheath with some paracord, and you’ll have a small but solid neck knife that’s legal to carry in all but the most uptight jurisdictions.