crombook laughs at your four winds.

So I bought one of the new Samsung Series 3 Chromebooks, and for all its limitations, I really like the little thing. It has a great keyboard, boots insanely quickly, has seven-hour battery life and a no-maintenance operating system, and doesn’t break the bank. (Oh, and THANK YOU for using a matte screen, Samsung. I hate the glossy ones with a passion, but you can hardly get a laptop without one anymore.)

It’s not a great primary laptop (all you get is the Chrome browser and whatever can run in it), but as a mobile web futz-arounder to toss into your European carry-all on the way to the latte shop, it’s close to ideal. Yes, you need to be connected to the Interwebz to get proper use out of a Chromebook, but there are damn few places I go where there’s no Wi-Fi available (and there’s always cell phone hotspot use). Plus, Google’s document editor has an offline mode, so I don’t need a web connection just to write.

For $400+, the Chromebooks were a little ridiculous, but for $250, it’s a good buy if all you want is a quick and easy little portable web browser with a proper keyboard.

 

a humble request.

My little Space Kablooie novel is finally up on Amazon. People are buying it, which makes me happy. People are liking it, which makes me even happier.

If you’ve read Terms of Enlistment, please consider leaving a review on whatever site you purchased the book. The reviews are not for me (although I can’t deny that I enjoy reading the good ones), they’re for the next person browsing for something decent to read. To those of you who have already left reviews: thank you, thank you. You are wonderful people and quite handsome/beautiful.

Terms of Enlistment will be available on iBooks, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and the Sony store very soon. I’ll post links when they are. In the meantime, you can get it from Amazon, Smashwords, or directly from me in whatever DRM-free format suits you best.

For those who asked about when the next one will be out: the second book is already written, and it’ll hit the same outlets probably before you put your first outdoor burgers on the grill this year.

(The second book will be called Lines of Departure.)

derputy herpyderp.

There are a few things I know for sure about Officer Reverse Eotech:

  • He has never been to the range to properly zero his carbine. Probably took it out of the box, loaded it up, mounted the sight improperly, and put the whole thing into the trunk of his cruiser.
  • He went to a hot call with a weapon that has never been zeroed, with a sight that’s non-functional the way it is mounted. Had he been in a situation where he had to use his carbine to stop a threat, he wouldn’t have been able to aim accurately.
  • He did not pay for that sight out of his own pocket. I know hundreds of shooters, and I can guarantee that every last one of them wouldn’t shell out $500 for a holosight without finding out how to properly use it.

But remember, only the cops should be armed, because they’re the ones with the training.

(Never mind the fact that Officer Reverse Eotech is carrying an AR-15 carbine—you know, the kind of gun that’s only good for killing as many people as possible as quickly as possible. Except when a guy with a badge holds one. Then it becomes a patrol carbine and a personal defense weapon.)

papal election tweets.

 

markokloos's avatar

Marko Kloos @markokloos

Wait. Benedict XVI resigned, right? Does he still get the talking portrait in the Papal Office?


 

 

Marko Kloos @markokloos

Meanwhile, in the catacombs underneath the Vatican, Ratzinger is being fitted with adamantium claws, founding member of the X-POPES.

12m

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

The new Pope will be presented to the crowd once he has finished consuming the customary stallion heart without throwing up.

39m

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

WE HAVE TWO POPES THIS YEAR. Cardinals Sodano and Arinze pulled the old “suicide berries” blackmail.

41m

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

Just wait until the Quarter Quell edition next year. All the current and former living popes, locked in mortal combat.

56m

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

WHITE SMOKE! This is either a linguistic coincidence, or the Catholic Church just declared war on the Oglala Lakota.

1h

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

Now the new pope has to consume all the losing cardinals, to gain their powers.

1h

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

Please, please, PLEASE let him take the papal name George Ringo I.

Marko Kloos retweeted

1h

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Brian Patterson @d20monkey

White smoke! GONDOR CALLS FOR AID!

2h

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Marko Kloos @markokloos

This Smoke Cam is pretty much the lamest reality show ever. Hope they don’t renew it for another season.

the nanny state marches on.

Tomorrow, New York City’s ban on large sugary drinks goes into effect.

The ban’s purpose is not to reduce the obesity rate like Bloomberg claims. Its purpose is not even symbolic, a sign that the city is seen “doing something”. That ban is a prime example of “Hat on a Stick” legislation.

What’s “Hat on a Stick” legislation?

That’s when the lord of the land puts his hat on a stick, places it in the market square, and decrees that all who pass it must doff their own hats in greeting. Compliance with the law isn’t difficult—it doesn’t take much time to doff your cap briefly, and costs virtually no effort, much like New Yorkers can order two 16-ounce Cokes instead of one 32-ounce one. The purpose, of course, is to establish that the lord has the right to tell you that you must doff your hat, whether there’s a point to it or not.

If people accept that their government has the right to dictate to them under threat of force what size containers they may consume sugar water out of, what other edicts will they accept?

travel report, part the third.

When we scheduled the Europe trip, I intentionally scheduled the busy stuff toward the beginning of the vacation, especially the trip to Vienna. That meant we had the second half of the trip free for family business and shopping in the local area.

My family is from the Muenster area, and that’s where I grew up. Of all the cities I’ve lived in, I have the greatest affection for Muenster because I spent a great deal of my formative years there. Muenster is where I went to kindergarten and first grade, it’s where my grandparents lived, and it’s the city that kept drawing me back to it over the years.

A lot of things have changed there in the last sixteen years, but they’re all relatively minor changes—a parking garage where there used to be a huge parking lot in the middle of the city, new stores popping up and old ones closed or renamed, a clothing store in the old and now defunct movie theater where I watched Return of the Jedi when it came out. Overall, though, Muenster is the same city it was when I left, with the same distinctive character and culture.

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The Prinzipalmarkt in the heart of the city. Here’s where the oldest and most established shops have always had their spots. The facades all along the Prinzipalmarkt were reconstructed after World War II to look like they did before the war and all the way back to medieval times. The shop rents here are quite high.

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A view looking up the Prinzipalmarkt toward St. Lambert’s church.

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Looking upstreet from the north end of the Prinzipalmarkt. Note the red and white shutters on the windows of the Cafe. on the left. Most of the houses have lovely detail work on the facades.

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The old Rathaus (city hall) on the Prinzipalmarkt. The Peace of Westphalia was signed here in 1648. The original ornate façade from the 14th century was destroyed in World War II by the extensive allied bombing that turned 80% of the city to rubble. After WWII, the Rathaus and its façade were rebuilt true to the original.

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The ornate façade of the old Rathaus.

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Some detail on a gasthaus.

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Muenster Cathedral (St. Paulus-Dom) as seen from near the Prinzipalmarkt. It was built in the 13th century and houses a 16th century astronomical clock. Damaged in WWII, but restored completely in the years after the war.

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The fountain in front of St. Lambert’s Church on the Prinzipalmarkt.

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Jewelry store on the Prinzipalmarkt. It has been there for as long as I’ve been alive at least.

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Another view of the Prinzipalmarkt’s north end.

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Not everything in the old city looks medieval. This is the main branch of the Muenster Public Library.

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The Glockenspiel above the porcelain & housewares store has been chiming its little tune on the hour every hour since well before I was born.

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Muenster is the most bicycle-friendly city in Germany. Westphalia is pretty flat, and ideal country for bikes.

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“Gee, I just don’t understand why we get no walk-in business at all!”

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The cages on the steeple of St. Lambert’s church in which the bodies of the leaders of the Anabaptist Muenster Rebellion were displayed in 1535.

On this trip, I had both a good camera and enough time, so I went into Muenster on several occasions to do shopping and shoot lots of pictures. I have a lot of personal history there, so I’m obviously biased, but it really is a lovely city with a very friendly atmosphere. If you’re ever in Germany and your travels take you to or near Westphalia, you should definitely pay Muenster a visit.

(Part Four to follow, in which we take a little side trip to the state of Hessen to visit Robin’s relatives.)

german food favorites.

Food loves kindled or rekindled on our Germany trip:

 

1.) Ostfriesentee (East Frisian tea)

Ostfriesentee is a very dark Assam blend, strong enough to keep its flavor when using cream and sugar in it like the East Frisians do. This is a real kick-in-the-pants blend that can hold its own against strong coffee when it comes to getting the synapses kick-started in the morning. (East Frisia has a strong tea culture–they consume about fifteen times the German annual average, and East Frisians consume the most tea per capita in the world.)

2.) Hefeweizen (wheat beer)

I’ve not been a huge fan of hefeweizen before, but on our trip, my brother liberally plied me with Erdinger, and I’ll be damned if my tastebuds didn’t get used to it. Hefeweizen is the least hoppy of all the beers I know. All of a sudden, I find it exceedingly drinkable. The closest thing I can find to Erdinger locally is Harpoon’s UFO Weissbier (UnFiltered Offering). It’s not quite the same–it has a sort of citrus-y note that Erdinger lacks–but it’s close enough.

3.) Broetchen

Broetchen are the breakfast rolls you can get just about everywhere in Germany. Bakeries have them. Grocery store bread counters have them. Gas stations have them. They’re crunchy on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside, and they’re the primary staple of a proper German breakfast. You slice them in half and spread jam or Nutella or cream cheese on them, or slap a few slices of Schinken (prosciutto) or other cold cuts on there. Simple as they look, they’re really hard to replicate in a home baking setting. Even the Germans don’t bother–Broetchen are so widely available everywhere that nobody goes through the effort of trying to make them from scratch, which is why it’s hard to even find a recipe for plain Broetchen.

4.) Frikadellen

Frikadellen are a cross between a burger patty and a meatball. They’re the perfect “hand food” for snacks on the go, and there isn’t a pub in Germany that doesn’t offer them as beer food. Unlike Broetchen, Frikadellen are easy enough to make at home, though, and recipes are ubiquitous.

 

If that list gives the impression that we spent our time in Germany mostly with eating and drinking, you would be absolutely correct. Yet despite all the excess, I only carried an extra 3/4 pound home with me, and I’m already back down to where I was before the trip. I’m guessing that all that running around had something to do with the fact that I didn’t gain ten pounds while we were there, because I put away a lot of calories.

deal alert.

The Hunger Games trilogy is only five smackers for the Kindle right now. If you have one of them Kindelmaschines, that’s a good rate for 1,100+ pages of dystopian YA goodness. If you’re one of the three or four people in the country who haven’t read it yet, that is. I bought it to re-read…saves me from having to dig out the paper versions.

(I liked the novels even though I had my issues with #3, Mockingjay. The movie with Jennifer Lawrence was rather well done.)

look for a perp with second-degree facial burns. he will smell delicious.

Dunkin’ Donuts worker stops robbery…by giving the robber a faceful of hot coffee.

Objects are tools. The weapon is that thing between your ears.